"DEAR MAN"
DESCRIBE Describe the situation. Stick to the facts.
EXPRESS Express your feelings about the situation. ”I feel… about the situation.”
ASSERT Assert yourself by asking for what you want or saying “no” clearly. Remember the other person cannot read your mind. “I would like…”
REWARD Reward the other person ahead of time by explaining the positive effects of getting what you want. Think about how it would benefit the other person as well. Follow through with the reward.
(Take hold of your)
MIND Stay focused. Don’t be distracted.
APPEAR confident Use a confident tone of voice. Make good eye contact.
NEGOTIATE Be willing to GIVE TO GET. Offer other solutions to a problem. Ask for other’s input on how to solve the problem.
Source –
Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center. (1993) Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline
Personality Disorder. Marsha Linehan.